I’m a little bit down at the minute. I’ve been carrying around a few pound of overweight and i’m struggling to find any real direction. I need to talk to a professional; I need to ‘Talk to Frank’.
Mr Lampard is in the perfect position to help me through this crisis; a win for the champions over a woeful Wigan will lift my spirits at a mental 2/9.
The wife is also in therapy; she’s been seeing a wily shrink for a number of years. The good doctor fancies Bolton to beat Man City at 4/5. If you’re after a second opinion, I concur.
My love-life has improved dramatically since the wife began her treatment; I make the most of the two hours that she’s out of the house. I’m getting stuck into the 3/1 about Watford holding Liverpool to a draw.
Henrik Larsson has been labelled the new Eric Cantona; i look forward to him putting on seven stone and scissor-kicking Cockneys. Of course that’s just a joke, putting on weight can lead to health problems. Henrik proved the difference between Man U and Villa a week ago, another United win appeals at a seagull-trawling 2/7.
I was genuinely surprised to read that Cristiano Ronaldo has been enjoying Togel liaisons with a Hollyoaks star; he doesn’t look the type to get involved with an actress. The Portuguese love machine can find the net at 13/8.
I’m a real technophobe; I just hate the repetitive beats. My computer says that Sheffield United represent value at 17/10 to see off Pompey at Bramall Lane.
I’ve been suffering from panic attacks lately; possibly brought on by the wife almost finding my ‘special’ DVD’s. Luckily, I’ve now hidden them in a place …